4 stoic tactics for dealing with anger

Anger is a fire—but Stoicism teaches us how to master the flame instead of being consumed by it. In this article, we explore timeless Stoic wisdom on transforming rage into reason, and how calm control can become your greatest strength.

What does Stoicism have to do with this?

I recently began to look at the reflections of Marcus Aurelius. I read him written works and listened to other podcasts about his philosophies and recommendations on how to deal with what life throws at you. When I first started getting into the hallway, it wasn't because I was looking for a sure way to deal with my anger. I was interested in philosophy after I took a class about it in college and learned about the teachings of Epectitus. "A real man does not give way to anger and indignation, and such a person has strength, courage and endurance - unlike angry and grumbling. The closer a man is to a calm mind, the closer he is to strength." – Marcus Aurelius I was pleasantly surprised by how much his teachings dealt with anger – because he was experiencing this himself. Armed with the concept that even the famous philosopher and Roman emperor must have dealt with anger and researched the rest of his teachings, I embarked on a journey to better manage my anger.

Number 1: Don't Fuel Anger

In her book, 13 Things Mentally Strong Women Don't Do, therapist Amy Morin tells the story of one of her clients who wasn't very happy. She was upset with her subordinates at work and was known to talk to them frequently angrily with her colleagues and husband. Amy, hoping to get this woman to see what's wrong with this vicious circle, shared with her some research on the harmful nature of what we call "catharsis."

"They have discovered that lowering the temperature through stress-relief activities is better at reducing anger because it reduces a person's response that may be a fight or flight. On the other hand, venting anger actually increases a person's agitation, as do physical activities such as jogging. It's very common, especially in our society full of angry tweets, on Twitter and loud conversations on Facebook, but "Can I tell you something?" The feeling that giving in to our anger It makes it better is not true it actually makes it worse.

Seneca describes anger in the following quote as "sweeping us away" and defeating us in battle when we surrender to it and "feeding the beast" "The best plan is to immediately reject the first impulses for anger, to resist its beginnings, and to be careful not to be led by it: for if it begins to sweep us away, it is difficult to return to the pre-anger state of health because the mind is in vain when the emotion is accepted into the mind..." Seneca continues to draw a metaphor between us and the castle. Once we allow anger to enter the gates, we will not be allowed to escape alive.

No. 2: Wait for action until feelings subside

Anyone can get angry – that's easy, but to get angry at the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, in the right way – it's not within everyone's reach and it's not easy." Aristotle In the relationship course I teach in local high schools, our curriculum encourages the teens we serve to "stop hot thoughts." When we get angry and feel "hot," we need to use different relaxation techniques to calm those feelings, and avoid acting so that we can reach our logical mind again. "The greatest cure for anger is delay." – Seneca

Marcus Aurelius, in his Meditations, advises us to wait until we are calm enough to choose a wise attitude to do anything at all. Anger is not where we want to work. After waiting, we can realize that our anger was just trying to protect us from a threat that may not have existed at all. We can pause, meditate, acknowledge our safety, and renounce the things that anger us. Only then can we move forward with what's right, show kindness to those around us, and choose to continue without being affected by things that might frustrate us.

No. 3: Look at the facts of the situation

Often, anger can spiral out of control because we make things go wild," a good mental health professional will tell us. This means that we take the situation and amplify it disproportionately, turning it into something that is not. Let me be the first to say, I'm really good at making things look disastrous.

"We are often more afraid of being hurt and suffer from imagination than reality." – Seneca

When we're angry, we have to be objective. This may seem like reminding ourselves of what we can and cannot control, taking responsibility for the problems we have caused ourselves, and reconnecting with the fact that no one else can hurt us if we don't let them do so.

No. 4: Realize that your passion doesn't change anything

When we get angry, we may feel like we're accomplishing something. I think that's why so many people turn to the internet when angry about what's happening because they feel it's going to get them somewhere. Once, I was so frustrated with one of my friends that I went to Reddit to post about it and get some feedback. I created the anonymous account and everything, and I was quickly disappointed when random strangers on the internet who didn't know my situation didn't help me. "Circumstances shouldn't give the power to provoke anger, they don't care at all." – Marcus Aurelius After I calmed down and started thinking about what I could actually do to resolve the situation, it occurred to me how ridiculous it was to use the Internet. Breaking into the paragraphs of the text around my friend did nothing but fuel my anger.