Master the art of communication: never let conversation topics run out of you and deepen your relationships

If I train as much as I speak, I'll be faster than Usain Bolt, stronger than Schwarzenegger, and smarter than Einstein.

So, shouldn't we all be completely professional in conversation? Shouldn't we all have the expertise and comfort of avoiding awkward silence, conversations with strangers, or speaking in public that is not exaggerated?

However, many of us suffer in those areas. All of this can apply to me, I am by no means perfect. And no one is.

Over the years, I have learned the following three lessons and followed what they say in my daily conversations with others.

These precious tips will always give you something to talk about and make it easier for you to connect with people in a much deeper way than before.

So no more embarrassing silence, no uncomfortable encounters with strangers, no running out of topics you're talking about.

1. Ask questions and show interest

Each person is a unique world of his own. Everyone has plenty of experiences, life lessons and stories to share, no matter who they are.

I've met and interacted with many people who changed the way I look at certain ideas, taught me a lot of things I didn't know before, and influenced me positively.

However, many of us miss out on the benefit of great people either because of the judgment of the book by its cover or just because of the desire to speak for oneself.

You'll never know who these people really are or what someone can offer without asking them and making an effort to get to know them. What you have to pass is just one question. It's so simple.

Try to stay away from yes-or-no questions, and choose open-ended questions that give the person you're talking to complete freedom to express themselves publicly.

Simple questions like the following can make you go a long way from the distance between you:

"What were you doing today?"

"What do you usually do in order to have fun?"

"Where are you from?"

Questions aren't just the beginning of the conversation, but they also act as a filter for certain things. You can learn a lot about someone by the answers they give.

If this person is related to something and is worth talking to, show them that you care and try to delve deeper into their world.

However, some may not be worth your time or others may not like you. It's okay, accept it, you can't get along with all people or communicate with them. Do not try to impose this by force.

Don't be afraid to ask questions, even if they're personal. It's easier than you think, and it goes a long way in what you seek.

Be brave enough to start an important conversation.

Margaret Wheatley

2. Listen carefully and be present

Once you've got people talking, all you have to do is listen. People like to talk about themselves. Who really doesn't?

Make it about them and be present when that person opens their heart. You never know who you might meet or what you'll learn. Give the necessary appreciation to devote his/her time to talking, and be open in your way of thinking.

If you want to show your participation in the conversation, add some words that fill in the blanks like "aha," "okay," or "completely," make occasional gestures, repeat important words, and keep asking guiding questions.

However, the superpower that many of us lack is to sit in silence. Just shut up and listen.

For many years, I always thought that my job was to entertain and say something when silence prevailed, and I felt a kind of responsibility to fill in the gaps. But I ended up saying useless words without content and jumping between different shallow topics.

The art of conversation is not only about not running out of things to say and avoiding uncomfortable silence and asking questions, but it also involves knowing when to speak and how to say things at the right time and place.

The next time you deal with a friend, stranger or colleague, allow them to talk and don't try to fill every silence. It's something that feels very comfortable and liberated to be present in the present time and not worry about what you're going to say next.

As I suggested in an additional tip in a previous article of mine, if you surround yourself with the right people and listen carefully to them, you will get into very rich conversations and learn a lot of new things as you communicate with them on that deep level.

All good conversations start with good listening. So you have to try it.

It was impossible to continue the conversation, everyone was talking a lot.

Yogi Pera

3. Let the shadows of words guide the conversation

Now you know how to start a conversation, and how to get people to talk and communicate with you.

However, you need to know that conversations are dialogues, not monologues of any individual monologues. You also want to make the interaction a natural form of speech, not an interview.

Word shadows are the necessary secret element so that things that can be said never run out. Most of us use it daily without noticing it, allowing us to engage in deeper conversations and move between endless topics.

Here is an example that clearly illustrates the shades of words:

Robert: "Last night's party was crazy!"

James: "I know. I can't believe the police arrested Martin."

Robert: "Poor man. I can't imagine how embarrassed he felt."

In a short time, the conversation shifted from the party to the police, from the police to embarrassment. From there, James can easily move on to an embarrassing story about himself, and finish breaking the deadlock.

If you don't believe me, just listen to Oscar Wilde: "The conversation should touch everything, but it itself should focus on nothing."

Allowing the shadows of words to guide the conversation allows you to be in the present moment and not think about the next thing to say in advance.

However, if the person you're talking to makes it difficult to find these shadows by giving one-word answers effortlessly and without participating in the conversation, don't try any more.

You need to realize that you cannot please everyone and communicate with them. Don't waste your time and find someone else worth talking to.

But most importantly, don't blame your poor communication skills.

A conversation isn't about proving a point; a real conversation is about going on a trip with the people you're talking to.

Ricky Mae

Additional tips

If you want to feel comfortable and confident talking to friends and strangers, connecting with professionals, or flirting with others, do the following:

1. Use questions to start conversations and to identify and select people.

2. Fully engage in what people are saying, and don't try to fill periods of silence with superficial jokes.

3. Let the shadows of words guide the conversation so that the things that can be said do not run out and that you reach more depth in that conversation.

We humans talk and interact with each other all day and every day. Conversations are of paramount importance for enhancing human connection and personal growth. So why not learn how to master this skill and thus how to enrich our lives?