How to be more sociable: A 5-step guide to an introvert

You cannot live your life to the fullest if you are alone. Who will you share your joys and triumphs with when you are alone? As human beings, we long to live in groups. We are social animals, and we like to socialize with others. If you're an introvert and aren't used to socializing, follow these five steps:

1.Always start small and simple

The first step is to always remember your goal. If you're trying to make friends with others and open up to yourself, slow down. You don't have to rush this and talk to everyone you see on the street. If you're not used to social activities, and you're not an extroverted person, rushing things will only exacerbate them. Always start small and simple. For example, every month you can have a new friend; join a new party or event once a month.

Action step: Meet someone new every month. Attend a party or any job once a month. You can go for more if you want.

2.Keep your mind open

Try to be more open and allow yourself to socialize with others. It's true that the first impression is the most important, but don't judge people by their appearance until you recognize them. Someone may drive a luxury car and wear a decent shirt, but that doesn't mean he or she is wealthy. A person may be in debt, but they just want to look good from the outside. Therefore, be open-minded. Tell yourself that you are just making friends and meeting new people.

It's okay if you don't like other people's personalities or attitudes, you're making friends here. If you can't accept that, you don't have to stay with them on the next round. There are a lot of people who can fit into your category and requirements. Just don't close yourself in.

Action step: Remember that you are just trying to make new friends and be more open. So be more open, and don't judge the book by its cover.

3. Take the first step – make a friend

You don't have to wait for others to give you an appointment. You can be the one who takes the first step. Just pick up the phone and call someone. Even if you're an introvert, it's going to be fine. In fact, it is a good practice to build your confidence and courage. This is not to say that people are not sociable or extroverted; the problem is that people are lazy and often too afraid to make the first contact. They are afraid of what if they are rejected. They are losing the battle in their minds.

Anyone can be sociable and extroverted if they want to. Just be more proactive, and take the first step by calling someone and inviting them out. If you are rejected, don't take it personally. Maybe this person is busy, or you've chosen the wrong place. Rejection is not your fault. People like to be invited to something because they feel important. So don't worry and just do it.

Action Step: Be the first to make the call. Stop reacting and start acting proactively. If you want to meet more people, enjoy spending the night out; expect it, and just do it.

4. It's not about you, it's about them

After taking the first step, the next step will be difficult for most people, and in fact, it doesn't have to be that at all. Imagine if your new friend was sitting right across from you, what should you do? Always remember this principle, "It's not about you, it's about them." You don't have to talk about yourself all the time. Maybe this person doesn't want to hear that at all. What you can do is ask questions.

Dale Carnegie, author of How to Win Friends and Influence People, said in his book that it's easy to start a conversation and get to know people, all you have to do is ask questions. When you ask a question, people feel obligated to answer. You don't have to be manipulative or smart to ask some smart questions. Just be natural and ask simple questions like "where to stay" or "what to do during your free time". The key is to create topics and keep the conversation going. Did you know that in sales, it is the dominant person who asks the question?

Action step: You can be good at conversation by asking questions. If you want to know more about someone, just ask.

5. Build an ongoing relationship

Now that you know your new friends, it's time to decide whether you want the relationship to continue or not. Sometimes, you may have to part with some friends because their personalities and qualities do not satisfy you. No one likes to be around a negative person, do they? So, once you know what kind of people your new friends are, you can choose to either spend more time growing the relationship or devote less time to it. It may not be easy to find a good friend who can truly understand and care about you. But when you do, spend more time cultivating the relationship.

Choose to meet more, and moisturize things through new activities. And you don't always have to meet in the coffee bar itself. Try new activities that you and your new friends enjoy. You can go walking, exercise together, try new restaurants, etc.

Action step: When you find out who you want to have a better relationship with, do one step further.