Raising bilingual children: a gift or a burden?

Definition of bilingualism

There are many definitions of bilingualism. The term refers to two languages, but in more flexible usage scenarios, it can also refer to 3 or more languages. In some cases, it refers to a person's native languages acquired from birth or that begin within the first two years of life. By contrast, others define bilingualism as the use of different languages in everyday life. A child may acquire two or more languages in his or her life, but may acquire one or more later. We will use the term bilingualism to refer to two languages acquired from birth because there are two different native languages in primary caregivers, before discussing practical advice, let's dispel some common myths that often discourage parents from raising bilingual children.

Refutation of common myths about bilingualism

While everyone sees the practical advantages of speaking multiple languages to get jobs, travel, etc., many myths and concerns about bilingualism sometimes make parents choose only one language for their children. Let's dispel 3 of the most common myths:

Myth 1: Learning more than one language that would confuse children

Wrong. Bilingual children can well distinguish sounds from different languages already at an early age. Children sometimes confuse a word from their other native language when they lack a specific term, but they are well aware that the word comes from their other language.

Myth 2: Learning more than one language leads to language delay in children

Wrong. While each child has their own rhythm and some take longer than others to achieve certain milestones in language development, it doesn't make a difference if they acquire one or more languages. Evidence suggests that many bilinguals have improved language abilities and other cognitive advantages compared to monolinguals.

Myth 3: Learning more than one language is good, but you should start with only one language and then introduce others later

Wrong. There is no good reason to postpone it. There is a sensitive period early in life where children can learn a language more easily than at a later age. If they acquire it later, they may still achieve proficiency in their mother tongue or nearly as native speakers, but are more likely to speak an accent.

Best practices for raising bilingual children

Based on a combination of scientific evidence, here are five key points to consider:

1. Provide opportunities for both languages to develop

Children should be able to realize that it's not just one parent who speaks a particular language because otherwise, they may refuse to speak it. "When our children were very young, we lived in Germany and my husband was the only Spanish-speaking person in their surroundings. So, we found a group of other parents who spoke German and Spanish and organized regular meetings. This was great because he showed our kids that their father is not the only Spanish speaker. In addition, video calls with my husband's Chilean family, occasional family visits, and videos in Spanish helped reinforce the language and showed them that learning Spanish is worth it. Our children never refused to speak Spanish, but I heard this from other families.

2. Insist on using a certain language

Interestingly, this technique is not discussed much in the sources about bilingualism, you need to insist that your child respond in a particular language. "We saw this in our friends in Germany: they told their child something in Spanish or asked him something in Spanish, and the child answered in German. Because the parent can understand the response, he continued the conversation with his child or gave him what he asked for. And here the child will understand: "I don't need to speak Spanish; I get what I want anyway." And many parents make this fatal mistake. What did we do differently? Every time our children answer in German, my husband tells them (in Spanish): "Sorry, I didn't understand you. Can you tell me that again?" - Then they move on to Spanish. When we moved to Chile, our little daughter was two and a half years old, so I did the same with her here, but vice versa to make her speak German.

3. One parent - one language

Warning: There is no consensus on this in the literature. Each of the primary caregivers has only one native language. In this case, the best approach is for each parent to stick to their native language when talking directly with children. This helps children distinguish between the two languages better. It also helps in parent-child communication because we can express ourselves better in our native language. Of course, you will have a family language but be consistent with your language when you speak directly with your children.

4. Learn a language only if you have native language proficiency

The parent-child communication aspect of the previous point is crucial here: you can express yourself better in your native language, and if you talk to your child in a language that you don't master enough, this will affect and limit your communication with the child*. This is not only bad for the development of the language but also for the development in general.

In these cases, it's best not to teach your children this language, at least not at a young age. They can always learn more languages later.

5. Encourage overall language acquisition and patience

This should be intuitive and not limited to bilingual families: you can support language acquisition in children in many ways. Frequent conversations, reading to children, playing together, creating opportunities to connect with peers, and avoiding spending too much time in front of screens are general strategies that help acquire language, whether bilingual or monolingual. Also, please accept the fact that each child acquires language at their own pace. Don't be discouraged; each child's linguistic journey is individual, and some acquire certain language milestones faster than others. If you're thinking of raising bilingual children, do so